Every B year
by t3h maniac
Summary: I'm bored so I decided to make this fic. The winter holiday parties for the FF characters always ends in disaster. This year will be no exception. Rated for language.


**Every Bloody Year**

**Because I'm bored there will be a drunken brawl! And because I'm a fan fiction author I shall make it between two final fantasy characters.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy in any way, shape or form.**

**---**

The Final Fantasy end-of-year parties were always handled very badly. Some wise guy thought that it would be a good idea of instead separating everything out by world to avoid a massive cram of characters that together would form a gigantic 'Squeeee' from fan girls across the earth, that this time and the time before they would separate everybody out by class and general day job.

This meant all the black mages went with each other and formulated plans to destroy the world, and set the beer on fire. All the White mages and summoners (grouped together due to budget cuts) got together under the symbol of healing and peace, because the majority of them were female this has resulted in numerous attempts from the thieves and ninja classes to sneak in a camera. Each year they failed.

But of all the stupid decisions one could make in organizing parties over the holidays, the stupidest one was to place all the generals of each worlds respected armies together in one room.

It was dumber then rushing up to pet a tonberry who was brandishing its trademark knife because it looked cute.

Seriously, try having all those inflated egos in one room, something has to be a spark, causing the inevitable.

"Afternoon Celes." Sephiroth said while smirking. The magitek knight just glared at him before reaching down to reach a drink from the mini fridge. "You shouldn't bend down like that, it is just too much of a perfect opportunity to take." Sephiroth said, eyeing the female general.

"Oh go away you bondage wearing mommas boy!" Celes snapped, standing up and moving towards a chair.

"You know you can't resist me."

"I'm doing a great job of resisting the urge to freeze your ass off right now." She said taking a stern tone with the Silver haired man.

"Such harsh words Celes," he responded, drawing closer to her "if you wasn't so desperate, I'd say you wouldn't be interested." Celes quickly changed tactics, at first gently placing a hand to his cheek before freezing it with an Ice 2 spell causing the villain to recoil in a howl of pain.

"Go back to your precious mother you sick freak." Said another feminine voice, Beatrix had just entered the room. Sephiroth started to draw his sword at the two women but thought better of it, placing masamune back into his sheath and retreated to a corner.

The two female generals both grabbed a bottle and started to drink.

"Fucking pervert." Celes murmured "Why is he even here? Shouldn't he be with the main villains club?"

"Apparently someone decided that he was just pushed to far instead of being a total evildoer." Beatrix said.

"Still think he shouldn't be anywhere near here. He's always coming on to me, and especially when he's shit faced."

"Tell me about it." Beatrix mused.

The two women drank more and more until eventually…

"It's not like your… not trying to get at least some action with that outfit."

"WHAT?!" Celes screamed causing several people to cover their ears.

"Well lets be honest here, you are wearing a bathing suit pretty much all the time." Beatrix explained only intensifying the blonde's rage.

"This coming from miss cleavage! At least my breast are completely covered and not in some flimsy restrained which looks like it could pop any second!" She accused. "Speaking of which, does your army enjoy all the skimpy uniforms? Compared to what some of your 'elite guard' wears, I'm pretty dam conservative." The bottle in Beatrix's hand instantly shattered.

"You did not just say that to me." Beatrix said coolly, focusing a glare on burning the broken glass shards.

"Didn't I? Well maybe I better say it again so this time you can-" Celes was quickly interrupted by a slap which knocked her off the stool and onto the floor "-The hell?"

"I figured if your going to act like a bitch, I should feel fully justified in slapping you like one."

Celes quickly drew out her sword, the alcohol not seeming to have any effect, gave a quick swipe at stool legs, severing them causing Beatrix to fall unceremoniously onto her back on the floor and to have a sword pressed to her throat. A quick sweep of the legs sent her down as well with the sword flailing across the room.

Beatrix reached for her own sword but found it knocked out of her hand by the younger general. Celes tried to punch her foe on the ground but Beatrix rolled out of the way.

The two exchanged blows, their armoured greaves quickly falling off after contact with plate armour a few times. The ladies tried to pull each others hair out next while Sephiroth, general Caraway and Gilgamesh looked on.

Zidane, Locke and Edge from the thieves party was enjoying the show from the safety of their own room.

"Shit man," Edge said "How'd you know this was going to happen?"

"Meh, just guessed. Lucky it did." Zidane replied, not taking his eyes off the fight for one second.

"What a bunch of perverts." Rikku complained.

"Tell me about it." Yuffie agreed, helping herself to more snacks from the buffet table when suddenly an idea struck Rikku.

"Hey do you know what might be fun?"

"No, what?" Rikku then whispered something into Yuffie's ear, an evil grin appearing on her face.

"Sure Rikku, I'll make out with you." She said loud enough for the three male thieves to hear. They all tried to turn around too quickly and fell down in a pile. "You were right Rikku. That was fun!"


End file.
